To Whom it May Concern,

The over-influx of New Moon fans has become dangerous to such a degree that is in danger of the following symptoms:

-loss of voice (trying to get 100 people to understand that no, there are no more tickets left)
-sudden energy bursts due to large amounts of caffeine ingested
-periods of little motion due to no caffeine
-irritable mood due to shifts in excess of 8+ hours with no break
-worry that 500 people may start a stampede as soon as the theater opens for seating
-nausea due to overwhelming smell of popcorn
-memory loss (How am I supposed to find my car in this huge parking lot?)
-sleep deprivation due to minimal time between shifts (Honestly, having to come in only 8 hours later after I got off?)
-insufficient homework completed

If the following conditions continue to occur, the results may not be welcomed. Tread with caution when approaching.

*****How is it that a movie about vampires and werewolves beats the Dark Knight in single day and midnight ticket sales?????